in repair.

for as long as i can remember, i have always been trying to do or be something great. trying to be a great dancer, trying to cook, trying to be there for my friends.

somewhere along the way, though, i quit trying. i got tired of trying. tired of pretending to have it all together. tired of being someone i'm not.

i won't ever be the best wife, sister, co-worker, friend. but it's not because i haven't tried.

trying and failing is an unavoidable thing and although it hurts so much to fail, it hurts a thousand times more to try and pick yourself up after you've fallen.

when do you realize that you have been on the ground for far too long and you can't stand another minute, day, month in the same place? you've been complacent. comfortable.

unfortunately, i know enough to realize that when i'm comfortable, i am probably not in a good place. i'm most likely not growing. i'm not pushing myself.

i am at that point where not caring, not trying, not growing isn't ok. it's not ok at the office, in my marriage, in my friendships. it's not ok to not be challenged, to not be moving forward. i may not be anywhere near my goal, but i'm getting there. slowly, but surely, i'm getting there.

i'm in repair.
i'm not together.
but i'm getting there.