i miss mayberry.

i was flipping through my old xanga account tonight. i love seeing what i was thinking a few years ago... before grant and i were even dating. times when i was confused, hating the world, hopeful, laughing, loving life... it was my life... exposed for all to see.

i try to be a little more careful about the things that i spout off all over the www, but sometimes i just gotta say what comes to mind, y'know?

man, looking back... life seemed so easy. now i have to be an adult. no more mooching off m &d. no more driving home for a summer of days at the pool and endless nights. no more rochester.

so, for old times sake... a post from 7.20.05...

so consumed by so many thoughts. my mind is going bazerrk. i wish i knew what i dont. i wish i didnt feel what i do. i wish. do you ever just sit and wish? i do it all the time. i wish i could read peoples minds. i wish i could go to any country in the world whenever i want. i wish i could drink and eat as much as i want and never gain any weight. i wish that i never had food stuck in my teeth. (:-/) i wish my brothers could see god how i see god. i wish "accidents" didnt happen. i wish i could sit by the ocean every day. i wish i didnt have to drag myself out of bed every morning at 615. i wish every time i asked god "why?" he would respond. i wish laughing was the cure for everything. i wish i never lost anything. i wish i would never get wet when it rained. () i wish i could drive a mustang. i wish my dog could move to fl with me. i wish so many things.